This Messy, Gorgeous Love, nico hase
This Messy, Gorgeous Love, nico hase
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This Messy, Gorgeous Love
A Buddhist Guide to Lasting Partnership

Author: nico hase, devon hase

Narrator: devon hase, nico hase

Unabridged: 6 hr 34 min

Format: Digital Audiobook Download

Published: 04/14/2026


Synopsis

A candid Buddhist guide to thriving in messy, real-world love.

“Honest, quirky, and compassionate—this is dharma for real relationships.”—Tara Brach, author of Radical Acceptance

Partnership is hard, especially after the honeymoon shine has faded. In this refreshingly honest guide to long-term relationships, married Buddhist teachers devon and nico hase help readers grow together even through conflict and change.

Through heartfelt guidance—complete with practices, exercises, and reflections—readers learn to:

• Face relationship challenges with presence instead of perfectionism
• Develop meditative skills to hold emotions with awareness
• Communicate effectively during inevitable ups and downs
• Get real without losing connection
• Find each other again and again

Devon and nico write, “If you're struggling, you can use that struggle to open your heart and connect with your partner.” Instead of chasing an idealized relationship, “fixing” your partner, or losing yourself, discover how your current committed relationship can become a vehicle for opening your heart, clarifying your mind, and awakening to deeper truths.

This book isn't about everlasting happiness―it’s about building something even better: a partnership where you can be happy in love, thrive in conflict, and have honest fun together, all while embracing the beautiful mess that makes your connection uniquely yours.

About nico hase

nico hase lived in a monastery for six years before earning a PhD in counseling psychology and becoming an Insight Meditation teacher. He helps people bring Buddhist wisdom to life's challenges, including the beautiful complexity of partnership. Together, they are the authors of How Not to Be a Hot Mess.

About devon hase

devon hase teaches at Insight Meditation Society and Spirit Rock Meditation Center. She integrates deep Buddhist practice with everyday experience to help students cultivate authentic connection in all relationships.


Reviews

Goodreads review by Literary on October 17, 2025

Offers loads of helpful tips from a Buddhist perspective to strengthen marriage. Recommended! Thanks to the authors, publisher, and NetGalley for the ARC. Opinions are mine.......more

Goodreads review by Sophia on April 17, 2026

What I appreciated most about this book is its epistemic humility. It doesn’t claim that mindfulness will make your relationship easy — it suggests that ease was never the point. Working through difficulty, the book argues, is often what gives a partnership its shape and meaning in the first place. T......more

Goodreads review by Malory on February 05, 2026

This book was pretty good and I enjoyed the exercises well enough. The tone was pleasant and it was easy to read. It didn’t keep my attention super well all of the time, but I am still glad that I read it. I am definitely trying to work on deep listening after reading this. It was nice to go between......more