Mad Wife, Kate Hamilton
Mad Wife, Kate Hamilton
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Mad Wife
A Memoir

Author: Kate Hamilton

Narrator: Amy Landon

Unabridged: 8 hr 8 min

Format: Digital Audiobook Download

Published: 10/15/2024


Synopsis

Submitting to unwanted sex destroyed Kate’s love for her husband

But she considered killing herself before she could imagine leaving

In this electrifying literary memoir, Kate Hamilton deftly traces her complicated journey from loving wife to gaslit victim to furious feminist with an urgent goal: to expose how women are pressured to uphold the institutions of marriage and family, no matter the cost.

In the tradition of Know My Name and The Argonauts, Hamilton braids her own story with cultural criticism to argue that we must face the misogyny lurking in the shadows of marriage in the 21st century. She examines the beliefs and conditioning that held her in an increasingly destructive marriage and unflinchingly documents what she did to keep her family together—therapy, unwanted sex with her husband, swinging, affairs, an abortion—without always knowing what she freely chose. And she considers the damage that was done, to herself and others, until she could acknowledge that to save herself and her sons, she had to destroy her marriage.

Emotionally intense and timely, Mad Wife interrogates how marriage and the institutions that support it provide the perfect ecosystem for abuse of women and children, endangering their lives and denying them autonomy—all in the service of men’s desires.

About The Author

Kate Hamilton is a Professor of English at a university where she teaches literature, literary theory, and women’s writing. She has published numerous books and dozens of academic articles and chapters on a wide array of authors, and she has given talks and keynote speeches about literature, pedagogy, and sexual violence at conferences and workshops throughout the U.S. and in Europe. Her first trade publication, Mad Wife uses these decades of work on literature and sexual violence to clarify her own dark past and illuminate clearer paths forward for other women.


Reviews

Goodreads review by Rita on November 17, 2024

This woman's story.... my brain hurts A scathing indictment on the patriarchy, men, toxic masculinity, male entitlement, the fragile male ego, the structures and systems that exist to silence women, to put women in their place, to box women in and exploit women's tenancies to appropriate guilt, sham......more

Goodreads review by Bree on February 06, 2025

This book kinda blew up my world a little, and I think that's what the author intended. Although at this point I've been married and divorced (and had a kid!), this brought up some trauma(?) from my first serious relationship when I was 25. I had to take a break reading it because things I had discou......more

Goodreads review by Alysse on December 19, 2024

This riveting book should be required reading for everyone considering marriage with someone whose interpersonal communication style is either negative or non-existent. This book serves as testimony that it can get very, very bad indeed, and the children suffer worst. Kate Hamilton (a pseudonym) bla......more

Goodreads review by Ash on February 26, 2025

This had me angry, shocked, and sad. Hamilton takes a brutally honest look at her marriage and divorce, and I’m not going to sugarcoat it: yes, it will make you uncomfortable, and yes, it will make you mad. I’m impressed that she was able to revisit the most difficult moments of her life with such h......more

Goodreads review by Sarah on February 02, 2025

That was incredible. She does such a beautiful job of weaving her personal narrative into a structural analysis, which is MY JAM. She reminds us from the beginning that abuse can creep up on those of us who think of ourselves as savvy, worldly, independent, and feminist. I feel very lucky and very m......more


Quotes

“How does the patriarchy uphold standards that support and normalize abuse like this? Hamilton both asks and answers that question in her honest and eye-opening story.”
Kirkus Reviews

Mad Wife has stayed on my mind since I first read it and I will continue thinking about Hamilton’s ideas well into the future.”
—Roxane Gay, The Audacity Substack

“Harrowing, fierce, intimate, and ultimately empowering, Mad Wife is a brilliant memoir for our moment. A feminist must-read.”
—Kate Manne, author of Down Girl: The Logic of Misogyny

“Kate Hamilton has written a memoir that I’m dying to talk about with every woman I know. Beautifully written, unbelievably brave, unflinchingly honest, Mad Wife is an indictment of heterosexual marriage and, specifically, sex within marriage. Hamilton’s is a story of how patriarchy has designed marriage to gaslight a woman for the entirety of a relationship, to distort her understanding of consent and her own desires, and to entitle a husband to his wife’s body. This memoir will have women readers reassessing every sexual encounter they’ve ever had with a partner and wondering why it has taken so long for a book like this to exist.”
—Donna Freitas, author of Consent: A Memoir of Unwanted Attention

“Lucid, measured, searing, important. Kate Hamilton draws an intricate map of her heart-space, courageously taking us on her journey of love, heartbreak, awakening, and triumph. I am deeply renewed by her words, a beautiful reclamation of a precious life that is her own and a reminder that we belong to ourselves.”
—Beverly Gooden, author of Surviving: Why We Stay and How We Leave

“Kate Hamilton methodically parses the complexities, cruelties, and chaos of heterosexual marriage norms while somehow maintaining a sense of compassion and hope. A must-read for those seeking to understand how inequality is woven into our relationships.”
—Soraya Chemaly, author of Rage Becomes Her