Its Not Me, Its You, John Kim
Its Not Me, Its You, John Kim
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It's Not Me, It's You
Break the Blame Cycle. Relationship Better.

Author: John Kim, Vanessa Bennett

Series: On Purpose #4

Narrator: John Kim, Vanessa Bennett

Unabridged: 6 hr 43 min

Format: Digital Audiobook Download

Publisher: HarperOne

Published: 09/06/2022

Includes: Bonus Material Bonus Material Included


Synopsis

Two therapists analyze their own relationship to help untangle the common and frustrating barriers many individuals face on the road to a happy, loving, rewarding partnership.Many of the clients who end up in our respective therapist offices thought they were doing relationships right—avoiding the white picket fence, focusing on careers and experiences over babies and legally-binding documents, choosing someone after they “found themselves” first. However, like clockwork, around their early to mid-thirties, these clients show up at our door. Why? For the first time, they realize that they dislike their relationship and are frustrated by their partner but know that another break-up won’t fix things. They recognize a pattern of relationship misery that has them finally looking in the mirror asking, how do you make a relationship last?It took us many relationships, our own inner self journey (which we’re still on), therapy, therapy school, and helping thousands of people with their relationships, to learn to have better ones ourselves. Vanessa woke up at 31, after ending an engagement and moving to Los Angeles. John thought he woke up at 35 after his divorce. But he didn’t truly wake up until he was pushing 40. In It’s Not Me, It’s You, John and Vanessa dissect their own relationship to help readers figure out theirs: what their relationships were like in the past, what traumas they carried into the new relationship, and how they work on growing together to foster a healthy and long-term bond.The surprising truth is falling in love is more about you than your partner. It’s more about challenge and growth than comfort and ease, and roots don’t grow from wishful thinking—they grow in the soil of communication, curiosity, patience, and understanding.It’s Not Me, It’s You is for anyone looking for real advice on relationships that takes both sides into account and discusses relationships with the honesty and clarity we all need.Supplemental enhancement PDF accompanies the audiobook.

About John Kim

John Kim is a licensed therapist, speaker, and author of the bestsellers I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck and Single on Purpose. He writes for Psychology Today, among many other publications, and has been featured in the New York Post and on Vice, NPR, and Armchair Expert. He lives in Costa Rica, where he is raising a daughter with his partner. He writes books, sends daily texts, and helps his online community of like-minded singles find themselves first—and, of course, he still rides his motorcycle to coffee shops.


Reviews

3.5 stars! This isn't the kind of book you'll just breeze through. It requires time to absorb and process the ideas being presented. I consider myself to be quite self-aware, but there were definitely a few parts where I thought, "Yes, I do that, and it's something I can work on." Overall, it’s an i......more

Goodreads review by Joni

4.5 ⭐️......more

Goodreads review by Emma

I loved this! Two married therapists come together to write a book on how to “relationship better” and it works, here’s why: John and Vanessa teach through stories, whether it’s their own or someone they’ve known. This helps make the book so so so much more interesting than other self-help books that......more