Travelers to Unimaginable Lands, Dasha Kiper
Travelers to Unimaginable Lands, Dasha Kiper
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Travelers to Unimaginable Lands
Stories of Dementia, the Caregiver, and the Human Brain

Author: Dasha Kiper, Norman Doidge

Narrator: Holly Linneman

Unabridged: 5 hr 53 min

Format: Digital Audiobook Download

Published: 03/07/2023


Synopsis

These compelling case histories meld science and storytelling to illuminate the complex relationship between the mind of someone with dementia and the mind of the person caring for them.

“This book will forever change the way we see people with dementia disorders—and the people who care for them.”—Lori Gottlieb, author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

After getting a master’s degree in clinical psychology, Dasha Kiper became the live-in caregiver for a Holocaust survivor with Alzheimer’s disease. For a year, she endured the emotional strain of looking after a person whose condition disrupts the rules of time, order, and continuity. Inspired by her own experience and her work counseling caregivers in the subsequent decade, Kiper offers an entirely new way to understand the symbiotic relationship between patients and those tending to them. Her book is the first to examine how the workings of the “healthy” brain prevent us from adapting to and truly understanding the cognitively impaired one.

In these poignant but unsentimental stories of parents and children, husbands and wives, Kiper explores the existential dilemmas created by this disease: A man believes his wife is an impostor. A woman’s imaginary friendships drive a wedge between herself and her devoted husband. Another woman’s childhood trauma emerges to torment her son. A man’s sudden Catholic piety provokes his wife.

Why is taking care of a family member with dementia so difficult? Why do caregivers succumb to behaviors—arguing, blaming, insisting, taking symptoms personally—they know are counterproductive? Exploring the healthy brain’s intuitions and proclivities, Travelers to Unimaginable Lands reveals the neurological obstacles to caregiving, enumerating not only the terrible pressures the disease exerts on our closest relationships but offering solace and perspective as well.

Cover art credit: © 2022 C. Herscovici / Artists Rights Society (ARS), New York

About The Author

Dasha Kiper is the former consulting clinical director of support groups at an Alzheimer’s organization and has an MA in clinical psychology from Columbia University. She has worked with both dementia patients and caregivers.


Reviews

Goodreads review by Amy on June 22, 2024

This book is a masterwork and a masterclass. I've been holding onto it awhile, not knowing when quite to read it~ The Brookline Public Library is now looking for $28 for me to replace it, and believe me its worth so much more. But this last month I have been reading it slowly, a chapter at a time he......more

Goodreads review by Robert on March 29, 2023

This book is really for caregivers, and it speaks directly to what has flummoxed me over the last year, which is just how hard it is to resist trying to reason with someone who has a fixed, strongly held delusion and is well beyond reason. I have asked myself over and over why I continue to engage m......more

Goodreads review by Książkomanka on October 11, 2023

3.75/5 ⭐ Niesamowita, poruszająca, a zarazem pouczająca. Powinno być o niej głośniej......more

Goodreads review by Jackie on April 11, 2023

First of all, I am an 86 year old caregiver for an 88 year old husband of 67 years. He is in cognitive decline and his mobility is extremely difficult. This book was a godsend for me. Each case Ms Kiper presented revealed difficulties I have been experiencing for at least the last five years althoug......more

Goodreads review by Dangerfield on March 29, 2023

Although this could be read as an easy-read academic treatise, there are after all 31 pages of notes, it is really a book for carers of those with dementia. I really wish I had been able to read this book as soon as my wife started in the early stages of dementia and then I would have been able to un......more


Quotes

“[One of] the best of this year’s books about dementia . . . invoke[s] literature, art to help explain what science and medicine, in all their lab-coated well-meaning-ness, cannot fully.”The New York Times

“Kiper’s work is deeply moving and often surprising. Through case studies both tragic and hauntingly relatable, she provides scientific grounding for what the beleaguered caregivers go through. With understanding comes the permission for, and perhaps a chance at, self-forgiveness.”The Wall Street Journal

“For the frustrated caregiver, trapped in a vicious psychodynamic that is dehumanizing to both parties, this may provide some valuable solace.”—The American Scholar

“An elegant, empathetic, immensely informative, and insightful primer for caregivers as they try to navigate the fragmented, skewed world of the cognitively impaired.”—Psychology Today

“A work of exceptional compassion . . . deeply imaginative . . . immeasurably valuable.”The Guardian

“A fascinating account of the psychology of caregiving . . . The message of this compassionate book is that confusion is, deep down, part of the human condition.”The Daily Telegraph

“A book so humane and quietly profound that everyone should read it.”—Bee Wilson, Financial Times

Kiper can write with an [Oliver] Sacks–like clarity . . . A wise book, and one that is unsettling in the best way.”New Scientist

“This book will forever change the way we see people with dementia disorders—and the people who care for them.”—Lori Gottlieb, author of Maybe You Should Talk To Someone

“How do we cope with those who have lost something as profound as the ‘normal’ sense of self? Travelers to Unimaginable Lands is a compassionate and insightful book about dementia and its startling effects.”—Roz Chast, author of Can’t We Talk About Something More Pleasant?

“Stirring, persuasive, and memorable . . . an eloquent and gripping book about personalities and the dances between them, exposing what dementia reveals about both the patient and the caretaker.”—David Eagleman, neuroscientist at Stanford, author of Livewired

“This book—richly endowed with experience and wisdom—is a treasure. I predict a long life for Travelers to Unimaginable Lands for anyone interested in or intimately involved with those afflicted by dementia.”—Vivian Gornick, author of Fierce Attachments

“Dasha Kiper’s exhilarating and enlightening book offers sensitive, intimate portraits of Alzheimer’s caregivers and their loved ones, enhanced by an informed tour of the mind and how it works.”—Robert Kolker, author of Hidden Valley Road