This American ExWife, Lyz Lenz
This American ExWife, Lyz Lenz
List: $17.50 | Sale: $12.25
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This American Ex-Wife
How I Ended My Marriage and Started My Life

Bestseller

Author: Lyz Lenz

Narrator: Lyz Lenz

Unabridged: 7 hr 37 min

Format: Digital Audiobook Download

Published: 02/20/2024


Synopsis

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A deeply validating manifesto on the gender politics of marriage (bad) and divorce (actually pretty good!) in America today, and an argument that the former needs a reboot—from journalist and proud divorcée Lyz Lenz

“This American Ex-Wife is a bomb, a bouquet (but not a wedding bouquet), a memoir, a manifesto, and a total joy to read.”—Rebecca Solnit, author of Men Explain Things to Me

AN ELECTRIC LIT BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR

Studies show that nearly 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women—women who are tired, fed up, exhausted, and unhappy. We’ve all seen how the media portrays divorcées: sad, lonely, drowning their sorrows in a bottle of wine. Lyz Lenz is one such woman whose life fell apart after she reached a breaking point in her twelve-year marriage. But she refused to take part in that tired narrative and decided to flip the script on divorce.

In this exuberant and unapologetic book, Lenz makes an argument for the advantages of getting divorced, framing it as a practical and effective solution for women to take back the power they are owed. Weaving reportage with sociological research and literature with popular culture along with personal stories of coming together and breaking up, Lenz creates a kaleidoscopic and poignant portrait of American marriage today. She argues that the mechanisms of American power, justice, love, and gender equality remain deeply flawed, and that marriage, like any other cultural institution, is due for a reckoning. A raucous argument for acceptance, solidarity, and collective female refusal, This American Ex-Wife takes readers on a riveting ride—while pointing us all toward a life that is a little more free.

About The Author

Lyz Lenz is a journalist and the author of God Land and Belabored. She has written for Insider, The New York Times, Marie Claire, and The Washington Post. Lenz also writes the newsletter Men Yell at Me about the intersection of politics and personhood in red-state America. She lives in Iowa with her two kids.


Reviews

Goodreads review by Thomas on June 05, 2024

I really liked this book and so appreciate Lyz Lenz for writing honestly about her divorce and not putting up with men’s bs! I thought she did an overall effective job of integrating memoir (e.g., story of her own marriage and divorce) with social commentary and reporting related to heterosexual mar......more

Goodreads review by Jessica on March 24, 2024

I suspected this wasn't really going to be for me and it wasn't really. The form (memoir + social commentary in essays mostly based on a theme) is not my preference. Add to that I've been divorced for a decade. That's why the book is not For Me. Would I have gotten a lot out of it ten years ago? Pro......more

Goodreads review by Katherine on March 04, 2024

Not good, but I couldn’t look away. I spent most of a day reading this just so I wouldn’t have to read it anymore, lol. I’ll be honest, I knew going in that I wasn’t going to like this. In my defense, sometimes books surprise me! Not this one, though. It was exactly what I thought it would be—a bloat......more

Goodreads review by Kelly on September 24, 2023

This was so much better than I anticipated! I loved how Lyz wove together her personal story with facts and details about women's roles in history. The details really worked to create an important book. I felt connected to the things she wrote about with her ex. I believed much of what she described......more

Goodreads review by Laura on February 17, 2024

This is such an important, necessary book that I hope awakens unhappily married women to all the world has to offer them. I love the broader message that we should put more emphasis on community and friendships over the narrow ideal of marriage and kids. The author had to end her marriage to achieve......more


Quotes

“With This American Ex-Wife Lenz adds to her already impressive canon of cultural criticism. . . . Through a vivid mix of research, reporting, and personal anecdote, [she] reveals the power imbalances inherent to traditional heterosexual marriage, and calls for a radical act of refusal by women who have been too-long defined by their relationships to men.”Literary Hub

This American Ex-Wife is a bomb, a bouquet (but not a wedding bouquet), a memoir, a manifesto, and a total joy to read.” —Rebecca Solnit, author of Men Explain Things to Me

“A tour de force, instant classic memoir-meets-manifesto . . . Cishet love is a battlefield, and This American Ex-Wife is a long-awaited shield. This book will rightfully end and prevent certain types of marriages, by which I mean it will save lives.”—Alissa Nutting, author of Made for Love

“In this brave, brilliant, impeccably researched book, Lyz Lenz offers us a clear solution to the systemic inequalities within the institution of marriage. And it’s far more liberating than I ever imagined.” —Virginia Sole-Smith, author of Fat Talk

“Passionate, visceral, and honest, Lyz Lenz is an unflinching voice, and this book will stand as a monument within our most pressing issues today in how romantic intimacy and domestic labor intersect.”—Morgan Jerkins,  author of Caul Baby

“Whether divorced, married, or single, all humans looking to reframe, rebuild, and reshape the institutions that have only ever served white men will find encouragement here. This is the most important book you’ll read this year, maybe even ever. Read it and get free.” —Rebecca Woolf, author of All of This

“It’s been more than fifty years since Muriel Rukeyser wrote, ‘What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life? / The world would split open.’ Now Lyz Lenz has written the truth about matrimony, and the result is similarly tectonic. I loved it.”—Laura Lippman, author of Prom Mom

“Lenz guides us to explode the dishonest fairy tales and shake off the suffocatingly gendered expectations around love, partnership, and domestic responsibility. This American Ex-Wife is a pleasure and an inspiration.”—Rebecca Traister, author of Good and Mad

This American Ex-Wife is both validating and necessary.”—Stefanie O’Connell Rodriguez, Financial journalist and creator of the Too Ambitious newsletter

This American Ex-Wife is a lifeline. It is a counter-narrative. It is a beautiful piece of memoir. But most of all: it is a bold and convincing declaration that it doesn’t have to be this way. Quite frankly, it should be required pre-marital reading.”—Anne Helen Petersen, author of Out of Office

“Far from being a sign of failure, divorce, she argues persuasively, can be a source of liberation. . . . A well-researched, acerbic critique of a sacred institution.”Kirkus Reviews