My Own Blood, Ashley Bristowe
My Own Blood, Ashley Bristowe
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My Own Blood
A Memoir of Special-Needs Parenting

Author: Ashley Bristowe

Narrator: Ashley Bristowe

Unabridged: 15 hr 43 min

Format: Digital Audiobook Download

Published: 04/06/2021


Synopsis

Mothering under normal circumstances takes all you have to give. But what happens when your child is disabled, and sacrificing all you've got and more is the only hope for a decent future? Full of rage and resilience, duty and love, Ashley Bristowe delivers a mother's voice like no other we've heard.

When their second child, Alexander, is diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder, doctors tell Ashley Bristowe and her husband that the boy won't walk, or even talk--that he is profoundly disabled. Stunned and reeling, Ashley researches a disorder so new it's just been named--Kleefstra Syndrome--and she finds little hope and a maze of obstacles. Then she comes across the US-based "Institutes," which have been working to improve the lives of brain-injured children for decades. Recruiting volunteers, organizing therapy, juggling a million tests and appointments, even fundraising as the family falls deep into debt, Ashley devotes years of 24/7 effort to running an impossibly rigorous diet and therapy programme for their son with the hope of saving his life, and her own. The ending is happy: he will never be a "normal" boy, but Alexander talks, he walks, he swims, he plays the piano (badly) and he goes to school.

This victory isn't clean and it's far from pretty; the personal toll on Ashley is devastating. "It takes a village," people say, but too much of their village is uncomfortable with her son's difference, the therapy regimen's demands and the family's bottomless need. The health and provincial services bureaucracy set them a maddening set of hoops to jump through, showing how disabled children and their families languish because of criminally low expectations about what can be done to help.

My Own Blood is an uplifting story, but it never shies away from the devastating impact of a baby that science couldn't predict and medicine couldn't help. It's the story of a woman who lost everything she'd once been--a professional, an optimist, a joker, a capable adult--in sacrifice to her son. An honest account of a woman's life turned upside down.

About The Author

ASHLEY BRISTOWE has been a radio producer, development planner and a portrait and editorial photographer whose work has appeared around the world in print and online, from The Globe and Mail to Raygun to the South China Morning Post. In the 1980s she was the child star of ACCESS TV's Harriet's Magic Hats. She lives in Calgary with her family.


Reviews

Goodreads review by Malcolm on May 26, 2021

The memoirist and essayist Michael Steinberg said “Often [a memoir] takes the form of an internal wrestling match, a struggle to come to terms with some nagging itch, perplexing question, persistent feeling, sense of confusion or disorientation, or a lingering personal problem.” There are multiple “......more

Goodreads review by Jan on April 13, 2021

Riveting and gripping. This isn’t your typical ‘rainbows, cupcakes, and unicorns what I learned about love from my disabled child’ memoir. Ashley Bristowe book My Own Blood: A Memoir of Madness and Special Needs Parenting is a raw and visceral account of the cataclysmic rupture a disabled child has......more

Goodreads review by Melissa on August 23, 2021

I have read this book twice before leaving a review. I loved this book. I took special education and i love books that speak of parents difficulties. This book wasn’t sugar coated and was raw and I could not recommend this book enough......more

Goodreads review by Jennifer on April 07, 2021

This book is a soul rending combination of devastating and uplifting. It does for motherhood with Glennon Doyle’s Untamed did for womanhood. It is honest, brave, full of my favourite swearwords, and a voice that will resonate with women and parents everywhere. It truly made me laugh, it truly made m......more

Goodreads review by Sheri on February 23, 2022

This will go onto my list of all time favourite audiobooks…her narration was so real, at times I felt like I was standing in her kitchen with her. Excellent memoir with heart, humour and excellent plot line.......more


Quotes

“Most books about raising children with serious disabilities aim for optimism, and sound exactly alike.  But once in a while, a gifted writer produces a brutally honest and utterly readable account of that dark, detailed, furious, unseen world, after which you can’t see ordinary life the same way again.  It’s a rare gift, but Ashley Bristowe’s My Own Blood is that kind of book.  You need to read it, as soon as possible.” —Ian Brown

My Own Blood is like the clearest window pane, through which we have the privilege to observe, absorb, the extraordinary journey of love between a mother and her very special child, and also view the price she, and all of us, pay for freedom, perseverance, hope and fulfillment. A stunner of a memoir in which each sentence either sings or stings.” —Deepa Mehta

“This memoir is as unputdownable as the best thriller. Really, I was awake until 3 AM reading this true story of a sharp-witted, foul-mouthed mother losing her mind as she saves (and utterly transforms) her severely disabled son’s life. Ashley Bristowe meets our collective silence about disability head-on and speaks, cries, sings and laughs in its (our) face. This is not a tidy depiction of singular heroism. It’s shockingly real, painful, hilarious, and, at times, terrifying. Over and over again, she shows how we, too, each of us, can and must summon the political will and the moral courage to respect, to love and to share our power with the most vulnerable people among us. An extraordinary testament to human connection. And swearing.” —Karen Connolly

 “Written with spare, feisty, sparkling prose, My Own Blood places the reader squarely inside a human experience few could imagine but many must endure—raising a special-needs child amidst a society far less caring than we pretend to ourselves.  A gripping and defiant memoir of parental commitment, distress, struggle and vindication.” —Gabor Maté, MD

My Own Blood is a look-you-in-the-eye conversation about motherhood—the glory and the wretchedness. Ashley Bristowe tells her remarkable story with ferocious candour and hard-won insights into how we regard disability and parents who grapple with its challenges. A wonderful book, just bursting at the seams with bravery, honesty and heart. My own heart beat faster as I read it.” —Gill Deacon

“I was completely swept away by Ashley Bristowe’s book. For three days I could do nothing but read it. I felt totally immersed in her life, her struggles, and her thoughts. She writes about her son’s early years, not retrospectively, but in the midst of the experience, ongoingly, from that high-stakes perspective where nothing is resolved. I don’t think I will ever forget my encounter with her frankness, her devotion, her lostness, her immersion in the extremes of life, or her propulsive and urgent writing.” —Sheila Heti

“Bristowe has blended courage, bluntness, humour and terrific writing in [My Own Blood].” —Edmonton Sun