Unkind, Victoria Smith
Unkind, Victoria Smith
List: $31.99 | Sale: $22.40
Club: $15.99

(Un)kind
How Kindness Culture Punishes Women

Author: Victoria Smith

Narrator: Victoria Smith

Unabridged: 9 hr 2 min

Format: Digital Audiobook Download

Published: 02/06/2025


Synopsis

'Victoria Smith is a brilliant writer who every feminist should read' Sharron Davies

'This brilliant book shows how demands for compassion and generosity can be a mask for sexist ideology' Susanna Rustin

A brilliantly witty and insightful analysis of how kindness culture is used against women.

Using the #JustBeKind trend of the 2020s as a starting point, (Un)kind explores how traditional beliefs about women's 'kind' nature have been repackaged for an age that remains dependent - socially, politically, economically - on female self-sacrifice while finding the concept outdated and essentialist.

Looking at the various guises under which kindness culture is sold to women and girls - from play to self-help, social justice activism to empowerment - Victoria Smith argues that the pressure on women and girls has not decreased, but instead been incorporated into the 'work' of feminism. (Un)kind analyses the way in which this phenomenon ultimately distorts relationships, harming not just those coerced into performing 'kindness work' but the supposed recipients of their services.

Kindness culture supports the backlash against feminism while claiming to represent feminism's - and women's - true nature. It is, at heart, unkind.

'Erudite, blisteringly smart and profoundly compassionate... A must-read for anyone hungry to understand the origins and dangers of contemporary exhortations to women to #BeKind, and for everyone who wants to live a feminist life' Dr Rachel Hewitt

PRAISE FOR HAGS

'The greatest joy of Hags is its lively erudition . . . eloquent, clever and devastating' The Times

'A book that could not be more necessary' Observer

'Brilliantly witty, engaging and insightful' Scotsman

About Victoria Smith

Victoria Smith is a regular contributor to the Critic, writing on women's issues, parenting and mental health. Her work has also appeared in the New Statesman, the Independent and Unherd. Her newsletter, The OK Karen, looks at midlife women's experiences of feminism, and she tweets @glosswitch. She holds a PhD in German literature, with a particular interest in Romanticism and dark fairy tales. She lives in Cheltenham with her family.


Reviews

Goodreads review by Miss Angela marston on February 14, 2025

Every woman needs to read Victoria Smith Without a doubt, one of our best current feminist writers. Insightful, considered and nail-on-head eloquent, I couldn’t stop reading. Every woman should read this, and Victoria’s earlier book, Hags.......more

Goodreads review by Ruth Lavery on February 17, 2025

Absolutely great book about how be kind is now used as a weapon to stop women standing up for themselves and as a way to remove previously hard one rights.......more

Goodreads review by Bronwen on March 23, 2025

I've given this four stars but the truth is, I struggled with quite a lot of it. There are some interesting parts in this but some of it I found hard to grasp and I'm not sure whether that is due to the writing or my lack of understanding of some of the theory. However the motto, Just Be Kind, can m......more

Goodreads review by Abby on April 13, 2025

some good concepts but couldnt get past the author's binary biological female views of the 'woman' and their seeming dismissal of any woman that diverts from this......more

Goodreads review by Colin on April 10, 2025

This is a solid book, getting to grips with the notion of "being kind", a reasonable-enough sounding request which, when used in contemporary discourse, tends to mean "do as you're told". She chooses some good examples of it being deployed as a way of telling women to shut the fuck up while still ma......more


Quotes

Brilliant... compelling Lucy Mangan, The i

Be kind sounds benign but this brilliant book shows how demands for compassion and generosity can be a mask for sexist ideology. I am full of admiration for the way Smith converts her extraordinarily clear sight about women's position in society into persuasive and readable prose. As feminist readers, we are lucky to have her Susanna Rustin, author of Sexed: a History of British Feminism

In her new, deftly-written and often humorous book, (Un)kind, feminist author Victoria Smith tackles the pervasive tide of unbridled misogyny masquerading as kindness Julie Bindel, Telegraph

(Un)kind is erudite, blisteringly smart and profoundly compassionate towards those who need it most: women. With subtlety and elegance, Victoria Smith reveals how, throughout history, women have been trained to provide kindness to others while quashing our own needs; and she deftly teases out the difficult question of how feminists can still believe that caring for one another is a social good without being exploited in the process. A must-read for anyone hungry to understand the origins and dangers of contemporary exhortations to women to #BeKind, and for everyone who wants to live a feminist life Dr Rachel Hewitt