The Four Last Things
And a Few More

Where do we go after we die? In this story the protagonist, Oscar Whatmore, dies and finds himself transported to a rundown spiritual realm, eventually appearing before a vast court presided over by a diminutive and disagreeable Jesus clad in legal robes. Although judged worthy of admission to Heaven, Oscar finds himself in a boring and dilapidated domain, which is blighted by outdated technology. He subsequently bribes an official to gain access to Hell, which he discovers to be surprisingly pleasant and staffed by a friendly Devil who explains that the ancient punishments are obsolete. The Devil also advises that he is planning updates to technology, including a high-speed rail link between Hell and Heaven. Oscar also discovers that Purgatory has been privatized as an exclusive hot yoga center. Ultimately, finding existence in Hell much more pleasant and satisfying than in Heaven, Oscar decides to permanently reside in the underworld.