
The Divine Gardener's Handbook
Or What To Do If Your Girlfriend Accidentally Turns Off the Sun
Author: Eli Snow
Narrator: Ellie Gossage, Jess Nahikian
Unabridged: 12 hr 4 min
Format: Digital Audiobook Download
Publisher: Macmillan Audio
Published: 08/18/2026
Synopsis
Cyprin grows perfect apples.
No other worker tends the orchards like she can. Sick of living in a Jenga-esque megacity where she’s never alone (there’s always a rat), Cyprin dreams of a job in the Divine Gardens, tending to the plants overseen by God.
Her only way in is winning an annual flower pageant—one that’s been dominated by the Divine Gardens’ head gardener for five years running: an insufferable woman with an undeniable affinity for plants. When Cyprin plays dirty (criminally dirty) and wins, she jumps headfirst into life in the gardens and her rivalry with the head gardener, who she just can’t stop thinking about.
Pranks, backstabbing, and a lot of heated glaring unite them, until they’re both drawn into a plot to take down God—who’s really just some guy with a great garden. As they spiral through layers of the city’s history and underground rebel group, Cyprin and her rival will find they understand each other like no one else does, even if there can only be one head gardener in the end.
But rise or fall, at least Cyprin will always have the rats.
A chaotically queer exploration of love, ambition, and toxic work culture, The Divine Gardener's Handbook is a romp of a science fantasy that will leave you gasping for more.