Surviving the White Gaze, Rebecca Carroll
Surviving the White Gaze, Rebecca Carroll
5 Rating(s)
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Surviving the White Gaze
A Memoir

Author: Rebecca Carroll

Narrator: Rebecca Carroll

Unabridged: 7 hr 28 min

Format: Digital Audiobook Download

Published: 02/02/2021


Synopsis

An Esquire Best Book of 2021

A “gorgeous and powerful” (The New York Times Book Review) memoir from cultural critic Rebecca Carroll recounting her painful struggle to overcome a completely white childhood to forge her identity as a Black woman in America.

Rebecca Carroll grew up the only Black person in her rural New Hampshire town. Adopted at birth by artistic parents who believed in peace, love, and zero population growth, her early childhood was loving and idyllic—and yet she couldn’t articulate the deep sense of isolation she increasingly felt as she grew older.

Everything changed when she met her birth mother, a young white woman, who consistently undermined Carroll’s sense of her Blackness and self-esteem. Carroll’s childhood became harrowing, and her memoir explores the tension between the aching desire for her birth mother’s acceptance, the loyalty she feels toward her adoptive parents, and the search for her racial identity. As an adult, Carroll forged a path from city to city, struggling along the way with difficult boyfriends, depression, eating disorders, and excessive drinking. Ultimately, through the support of her chosen Black family, she was able to heal.

“Generous, intimate, searching, and formidable” (The Boston Globe), Surviving the White Gaze is a timely examination of racism and racial identity in America today.

About Rebecca Carroll

Rebecca Carroll is a writer, cultural critic, and host of the podcasts Come Through with Rebecca Carroll (WNYC Studios), and Billie Was a Black Woman. Her writing has been published in The New York Times, The Atlantic, Essence, New York magazine, and The Guardian, where she was a regular columnist for two years. A former cultural critic for WNYC, and critic-at-large for the Los Angeles Times, she is an editor-at-large for The Meteor media collective, as well as the author of several interview-based books about race in America, including the award-winning Sugar in the Raw: Voices of Young Black Girls in America. She lives in Brooklyn with her husband and son.


Reviews

Goodreads review by Roxane

Surviving the White Gaze by Rebecca Carroll is the anatomy of the life of a black woman, and the complex constellation of the people who made her — her white adoptive parents, her white birth mother, and the black father she meets much later in life. It is a moving narrative about what it means to t......more

Goodreads review by Traci

This book is stellar. Carroll has a gift of writing beautifully without writing pretentiously. Her style is natural and profound. This story of Blackness, racism, abuse, manipulation, self and so much more was deeply moving. Carroll doesn’t play up trauma but instead examines it and allows her reade......more


Quotes

"Critic and podcaster Rebecca Carroll narrates her accomplished memoir about growing up the adopted daughter of a white couple and being the only Black resident in her small New Hampshire town. This affecting chronicle illuminates the overt and subtle racial discrimination she encounters as she searches to find her place in the world. As Carroll recounts her bohemian upbringing and troubled relationship with her biological mother, her story will resonate with anyone who has felt like an outsider in their own family or community. Her measured delivery and unforced pacing underscore the narrative's disquieting moments as well as her growing unease and awareness. Her quietly expressive narration adds potency to this well-told and relatable story."