Suave Rob's Amazing Ass-Saving Association

They surfed a supernova. They beat the Poseidon Front. They raptured the rugrats and made the solar system safe for the most bodacious badassery. Now Suave Rob and Gigolo Jeff are bringing their epicness to your establishment.
That's right! Whether you've got problems with gropey groupies, sneaky stalkers, rapacious rivals, seriously shifty slavers, or a dangerously disastrous ducky drip, this top-notch team will put its ass on the line instead of yours.
Remember, in a solar system this big, filled with tsunamis and troublemakers and tax collectors galore, trouble always comes knocking. When your door sets to pounding with the drumming of doomy death, call Suave Rob's Amazing Ass-Saving Association.
They'll save your ass so you can live to sit another day!