How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Saf..., Zachary Auburn
How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Saf..., Zachary Auburn
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How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety
And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives

Author: Zachary Auburn

Narrator: Oliver Wyman

Unabridged: 3 hr 8 min

Format: Digital Audiobook Download

Published: 05/21/2019

Categories: Nonfiction, Humor, Pets


Synopsis

The cats of America are under siege!
 
Long gone are the good old days when a cat’s biggest worries were mean dogs or a bath. Modern cats must confront satanists, online predators, the possibility of needing to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and countless other threats to their nine lives.

For over four decades, the American Association of Patriots have stood at the vanguard of our country's defense by helping to prepare our nation's cat owners for the difficult conversations they dread having with their pets. Written in a simple Q&A format, How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety answers crucial questions such as, “What is the right age to talk to my cat about the proper use of firearms?” and “What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence?” and especially “Why does my cat need to use the internet? Can’t he just play with yarn like cats used to do?”

Our country—and our cats—stand at a precipice. It will take courage, and it will take hard work, but armed with the knowledge within these pages, we can make our cats—and America—great again!

About The Author

ZACHARY AUBURN is a writer and artist whose 'zines include an analysis of every outfit worn by the Golden Girls in the first season, a Choose Your Own Adventure about a tortured relationship (which Slate called a "small masterpiece"), and a field guide to the aliens on Star Trek. He has been profiled in the Portland Mercury, Catster magazine, and Utne Reader.


Reviews

Goodreads review by karen

…if there is one hard-and-fast rule on this topic, it's this: under no circumstances should you provide your cat with a gun equipped with a laser scope, as your cat is likely to be more interested in the dot it makes than in the deer, burglar, or communist in their sights. i wanted to love this S......more

Goodreads review by KayLee

I gifted this to my parents who are uncomfortably far right. Their reaction to the contents when they realized their politics were being criticized and mocked made this instantly 5 Stars. I have a copy for myself too, as a simple reminder of their reaction on Christmas morning. If you too have conse......more

Goodreads review by Rae

This should be a 3.5 — after all several parts did have me literally laughing out loud...but toward the end, the redundancy was a little painful. Probably the best thing about this book was reading the goodreads reviews from people who could simply NOT grasp the concept that this was satire. I’m scr......more

Goodreads review by Avesta

Incredibly informative. Auburn has written a masterpiece - this book has been incredibly enlightening and has shown me how sinful my cat was - he was clearly part of a Satanic cult who did not abstain enough, and shot his gun to the sky, not to the ground, when warning the dogs. I wish I had read th......more