A Trans Man Walks Into a Gay Bar, Harry Nicholas
A Trans Man Walks Into a Gay Bar, Harry Nicholas
List: $31.99 | Sale: $22.40
Club: $15.99

A Trans Man Walks Into a Gay Bar
A Journey of Self (and Sexual) Discovery

Author: Harry Nicholas

Narrator: Ash Palmisciano

Unabridged: 6 hr 5 min

Format: Digital Audiobook Download

Publisher: John Murray

Published: 02/20/2025

Synopsis

LONGLISTED FOR THE POLARI PRIZE 2024

'On the bookshelves, there was plenty of stuff on being gay, and much needed, joyous accounts of what it is to be trans, but nothing really that encapsulates what is it to be both - to exist in the hazy terrain between.'

After his relationship with his girlfriend of 5 years ended, Harry realised he was a single adult for the first time - not only that, but a single, transmasculine and newly out gay man.

Despite knowing it was the right decision, the reality of his new situation was terrifying. How could he be a gay man, when he was still learning what it was to be a man? Would the gay community embrace him or reject him? What would gay sex be like? And most importantly, would finding love again be possible?

In this raw, intimate and unflinchingly honest book, we follow Harry as he navigates the sometimes fraught and contradictory worlds of contemporary gay culture as a trans gay man, from Grindr, dating and gay bars, to saunas, sex and ultimately, falling in love. Harry's brave and uplifting journey will show you there is joy in finding who you are.

Reviews

Goodreads review by jay on February 28, 2023

welcome to 202-Queer 🌈✨ 50 in February: 48/50 "I have at times wondered if it would have been easier to continue hiding as a girl and simply try to squash down any dysphoria and live life as a straight woman as best I could. In fact, at seventeen, that’s exactly what I decided to do. But in the end......more

Goodreads review by Nev on February 16, 2023

Harry Nicholas’ book is an insightful look at one man’s journey and experiences being a trans gay man. He makes it very clear that this is a book about his personal experiences and it isn’t meant to represent all gay or trans men. While this is mostly focused on Harry’s own story he does also bring......more

Goodreads review by Fern on July 08, 2023

This book left me confused about who its intended reader is supposed to be. The segments where Nicholas directly addresses TERF talking points felt intended for cis allies, but he opens the book by talking about how he created this book out of a desire to read his own experiences reflected on a page......more

Goodreads review by Leo on January 17, 2023

*Note: I am a trans, non binary, queer, white and disabled person. I want to thank Harry Nicholas and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for the opportunity to access an eARC of this book. The thing that sold me on this book was the cover (gorgeous and eye-catching colours, well chosen font choice and photo......more

Goodreads review by Anniek on March 31, 2023

An interesting, often funny memoir about a gay trans man's experiences. I read this book within a day, which I usually don't nearly manage with non-fiction books. I really appreciated reading about this intersection of identities. The book does have some heavier moments, with descriptions of transph......more

Quotes

"Brilliant and SO funny!"

This singular exploration of one man's journey towards himself shows us we are infinitely distinct and unique, and all the stronger as a community for it.

This book manages to convey the wisdom and self-reflection of an elder, while also containing so much potential for how much life Harry has yet to live. It shares a trans gay experience in a way that welcomes cis people into the conversation, while never once making his queerness 'palatable'. Harry's anger at how much further we have to go is only matched by the scale of his hope that, together, we'll get there - and in this memoir Harry is showing us the way. A miracle.

As a community with millions of people, there is no 'one size fits all' experience, and this is a perfect example of the nuance in trans experiences. I laughed and cried, I related and I learned. His vulnerability and honesty feels like an antidote in an increasingly hostile world. Beautiful.

Celebrates the interconnectedness and incongruity of gender, doing so in a way that frees the reader by extension. Will live on in the minds of each and every reader.

The projected portrait of being trans by the media is bleak, yet Harry writes with such warmth and candour that he shines a light on the majesty of being exactly who you are - unapologetically. Without sugar-coating issues or hiding the hostility we face as a community, this book is a nuanced and individual look into the complexity of the trans experience within the wider LGBTQIA+ community - a triumph.

An engaging and easy-to-read book about a life experience that hardly anyone talks about.

Both a rallying cry for liberation, and an intimate self reflection, Nicholas celebrates and examines queer masculinity in its various forms, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Nicholas' s wit comes through the page in moments of consideration, balanced out with steamy, sexual liberation. A Trans Man Walks Into A Gay Bar is a book with something for all of us, no matter where we lie on the spectrums of gender, sex, expression, and sexuality.

A beautifully important, eye-opening book in a world of criticism and ignorance. Harry, inviting into his life with commendable rawness, is helping so many people understand, educate and grow with our community. A vital reminder that no trans person needs to be fixed.

Hopeful and life affirming, A Trans Man Walks into a Gay Bar is impossible to put down. This is a memoir that doesn't shy away from uncomfortable truths but Harry's writing is profoundly moving, he handles the most complex conversations with the lightest of touches. Charming, witty and sexy, this is a book for anyone who has ever felt lost or who has found themselves, or is somewhere along the way.

Add to Cart
Add to Wish List